My son was stillborn at 20 weeks. I had many health problems throughout my pregnancy but none related to his death. I carried my son around for 2 weeks after he had passed unknowingly. His body was only at 18 weeks. A fourth of the placenta had detached from my uterus and he no longer received nutrients.
I have never drank, smoked, or used any kinds of drugs and I put off getting my hair dyed and my nails done because I read that the dye and the fumes were horrible for the baby. I did everything right and everything that the doctors had said but my son was still taken from me.
I can’t explain the emptiness I feel to my husband, it always seems like he doesn’t understand. All he can say is he knows I’m hurting and he can’t fix it. I have struggled with depression and suicide before my pregnancy but now it is worse. My son was my reason for living and now I cant even get out of bed most days. I feel empty and numb. I just want my son back and I know that won’t happen but I still just wish to wake up from this horrible nightmare.
-Mariah Chapman
Warwick, GA
Published 9/19/16