My husband and I found out we were pregnant on Jan 23, 2014. Everything happened so fast. I kept notes on my phone… here is my “diary” of my third pregnancy.
Found out I was pregnant Jan 23. My periods are irregular so wasn’t sure how far along I was. I told friends and family, everyone was excited. Ramsey and Olivia were ready for a new baby brother or sister. I made an appointment right away but couldn’t be seen until Feb 12. Time went by and I felt something wasn’t right. I called my ob/gyn and got my appointment moved up to Feb 3. On my first appt. I got a pap and was told to come back in a week for an ultrasound. This whole time I felt something was not right. I didn’t let myself get too excited about this pregnancy. The day before our ultrasound I prayed until I feel asleep that there would be a heartbeat…I was soo nervous/anxious. Feb 10 came and we were excited to see our lil baby. I had a vaginal ultrasound and it was painful. We saw baby and heard its heartbeat, I was so relieved!!!! Everything seems fine.
Then our ob/gyn called us to her office and explained to us that you had fluid around your heart and a cystic hygroma, which usually means a chromosome disorder. We were set up with a specialist the next day for another ultrasound. We were very nervous. Ultrasound showed we were 11 weeks and 6 days. Baby looked normal to me on the screen. I even saw you move! We were able to hear your heartbeat again, which I was excited about. The specialist, Dr. Johnson, called us to her office and explained baby had medium sized fluid sacks around head/neck area, fluid in chest and fluid sacks in belly. Doctor informed us about the higher risk of miscarrying due to your condition. We had blood work done that same day to test for the top 4 chromosome disorders. We were told that the results could take up to 2 weeks. We had an appt set for 2-25-14 to review results. I bought myself a fetal heart Doppler to put my mind at ease.. I loved listening for your heartbeat. I would check up on you twice a day.
On 2-20-14 we got a call from the lab tech informing us that lab results came back low risk for disorders. I felt so much relief! I thought everything was going to be fine and you were going to be born healthy. On 2-23 I was trying to find your heartbeat but couldn’t find it. I just thought you were hiding and checked again later that night with no heartbeat again. I checked again the next morning and nothing. I tried not to freak out since we had an appt the next day.
2-25-14 we have our appt , we start with an ultrasound. We see you on the screen but notice no heartbeat. I was so hurt. Your daddy is much stronger than I am. We spoke to the doctor and she said she would induce labor to deliver you the next day, 2-26-14. You were measuring 14 weeks. I didn’t know what to expect, I was SCARED. Your daddy was sweet and tried comforting me the best he could. Your nana even showed up from Georgetown. I was surprised.
On 2-26-14 we were at the hospital at 7am and things got ready for induction. Our nurse Kat was so nice and comforting. Medication was given to me at 9 to help my cervix dilate. I felt nothing so a second dose was given to me at 3. With that second dose the cramping/contractions started.. Man it was tough. I was offered medication but refused… I didn’t want to be tired or asleep and have something happen. My water broke around 7. I was so scared. I didn’t know what to expect. At 7:29 pm I delivered you. You were so small. The nurses came in and got you ready in a corner. She brought you over to me and your daddy. I held you in my hands. We had you blessed and decided to have you cremated.
June Rae Martinez 2-26-14
3-3-14
Today is tough. I don’t know why. Everything reminds me of you and what you would of become 🙂 I miss you! I love you.
I have stopped writing in my “diary” but not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I would like to mention that the hospital and staff were very nice and informative. They gave me a lot of options, they took pictures for us and even sent us home with a remembrance box.
-Veronica Martinez
Corpus Christi, TX
Published 5/30/14